To all the moms who feel like they have a seat reserved at the Mad Hatter’s table, we GET You! 

Why I haven't been writing...

Why I haven't been writing...

Because I know the world revolves around me, I owe it to my dozens upon dozens of fans to explain my interwebs absence.

My kids were sick. Like really sick. Since April. After urgent care appointments, doctor appointments, ER appointments, I finally said to the clinic nurse "Tell me what to do. This can't be okay." She recommended mixing honey and hot water in a sippy cup. With a tone reserved for mothers with that disorder where they are secretly poisoning their children she reminded me that coughs can take months to get rid of and I needed to be patient. And go fuck yourself.

I have a sore throat. Since forever. Is it allergies? Nasal drip? Cancer? Antibiotics helped for about a week. 

I'm thinking about growing out my bangs. Thus a lot of my free time is spent looking in the bathroom mirror.

I'm planning a garage sale. I will be taking the art of one gal's junk is another gal's treasure to the next level. I plan to bring in at least ten thousand dollars. 

My mom visited. It was lovely and having a RN in the house was very reassuring as we all dig out from whatever bubonic plague this is.

My mom and I went kayaking. I am now destined to be an Olympic kayaker by 2020. Thus a lot of free time has been spent online kayak shopping.

I started drafting and researching a story about Disney Princesses and who I want Betty to identify with when I realized I don't know anything about Mulon or Tiana and that made me feel racist.

It's Ariel by the way. Not just because it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if Betty lost the ability to speak for a day or two, but her best friend and mentor is a crab, she brushes her hair with a fork, and doesn't need anything from Eric...just thinks he's hot. And I guess he has a house above sea level.

I've been practicing my Banjo-lele. I am getting good at the five chords I know! Please, no requests in E.

I am plotting a total internet take over. Podcast...vlog...how many YouTube clicks will it take to pay off my RAV4? Does anyone know how to do a podcast?

I'm back into crafting.

How many cards do I have to sell to pay off my RAV4?

So that's what's been keeping me from --- oh my God...do I have pink eye? I wish I was joking. 

Header Image Source: russellstreet

This Week’s Dinner — Week 7

This Week’s Dinner — Week 7

Stop and Smell the Babies

Stop and Smell the Babies