Hi, I’m Jessica. You know me as That Odd Mom but I would like to share another misnomer I go by these days, The Worst Tooth Fairy Ever! That’s right; I suck as the tooth fairy! As we speak, I have a 7 year old stomping around the house, angrier than a bull, and I’m not sure if she thinks the tooth fairy hates her (I’ll explain in a bit) or if she has just figured out that I am the tooth fairy and I totally suck at it.
You see, this is the third tooth that my little Ema has lost this year (none came out before the age of seven naturally,) and she had one pulled. Out of those four teeth in the last 12 months, the tooth fairy has only managed to collect her tooth and pay her once. That’s right, I said once!
On the first occasion, I told her it was because she forgot to put her tooth under the pillow (which she did) and I made sure not to forget the next night.
The second time, I quickly slipped it under the pillow the next morning while she was still sleeping.
The third time, I went in the room after her dismay of finding no money and slipped it between the mattress and wall and called her in. I told her she must have slept crazy and it fell behind the pillow.
(Yes, I know how horrible I am, but dammit man, we all need a little fairy magic in our lives!)
Now we are to today. The day when she woke up and didn’t find her money and her tooth was still there. She immediately began to cry and refused to leave the room, sulking under her blanket for 30 minutes. If that doesn’t make you feel the failure of the year, I don’t know what will. I finally managed to slip my way in and strike up a conversation with her, while she was still hiding under the blanket. I carefully tucked a five-dollar bill under the mattress as I explained that the tooth fairy likes to get sneaky when you get older.
Eventually she came out from under the covers and went on a second hunt for the goods. She found the cash, exited the room and is going on about her day, slightly less cranky. I’m pretty sure she still knows that I am the tooth fairy, the worst tooth fairy ever, but at least for now, she has forgiven my lack luster performance.
On the bright side, today is my youngest, Ali’s, fourth birthday. I’m counting on the fun of a birthday, complete with a special dinner, cupcakes, presents will detract from the morning, and we can focus on one of my better parenting moments for the rest of the day.