What Do Puberty and Hot Flashes Have in Common?

They both suck and have both descended upon our home at the same time!  


That's right, my sweet little baby girl has hit puberty at the ripe age of 8 (screw you mother nature screw you) and if that wasn't enough, I'm experiencing regular nightly hot flashes at the ripe old age of 31 (really mother up yours with a ziggy wawa brush you spiteful B!) 

Seriously I thought I had at least one or two more years before breast buds and having the big PERIOD talk would be necessary and at least another 15 years before my body reacted in a spazzed out menopausal state. 

Ema, thankfully, is dealing with her changes much better than me and lets not even get started on the hubs. Do you know what kind of look a man gets when you tell his daughter has hit the beginning stages of puberty at 8 years old. 

Now, I need my mommy, or someone less hormonal than me at least to explain why I still have to suffer through a 26 day cycle where I feel like stuffed pig in labor for 8 days and have hot flashes at the same time.  

It's not flipping normal! 

I would happily take on menopause in my early 30's and be done with the nasty B Aunt Flow. I am positive I'm done having kids after all. But is too much to ask that maybe I could adjust to a cycle of normal person in the process instead of that of a superhuman bleeding machine? 

So now is the time that I ask you take pity on me. If I start getting really argumentative on Facebook or randomly tell you that you have bitchy resting face on Twitter, please remember that I am a hormonal mess that just had her daughters puberty surprise attack her. I'm trying to be nice, really I am!