I've never pledged a sorority, but after this past week, I've got a pretty good idea what Hell Week must feel like.
It all starts out with an inconsiderate family sharing the funk, that they clearly have, with your family as you dine in a pizza restaurant. Fast forward three days and you find yourself feeling pretty weak, tired and extra sneezy.
If you are a mom of more than one kiddo and you haven't had the total displeasure of getting sick first, let this serve as a cautionary tale.
The next morning you can't seem to get warm even though it's warm enough in the house that your rebel youngest child insists on running around naked still. After shivering under the blankets for an hour you decide to take a hot bath and it isn't even 10 am.
Besides the fact that you feel like utter crap, your internet has turned into a game of whack-a-mole, and you get really lucky to jump on when it isn't behaving like the dial-up you had to use when message boards were cool.
By noon your oldest tells you he isn't feeling well and feels weak. By late afternoon he's down for the count taking a long nap and you just know the other kids will follow will join in soon.
The halfway point is here and you start to get hopeful that week won't be so bad after all. I mean, you feel a little better, have some energy back and the other two kids are still good. Then you make the mistake of sharing how you feel on Facebook about a timely topic, you remember why you think 99% of people are assholes, go on a spree of un-following and directing people to your public feed and wonder if this week could get any worse.
Well, of course it could, it's Thursday now, the internet still sucks, your daily to-do list has quadrupled, email is backlogging and the both girls wake up looking miserable. You knew it would happen! You trudge through the day, thankful that at least you all didn't get the funk on day one, it might have broken you. You fight with the internet long enough to see a news article that reaffirms that you weren't just grumpy the day before, people are genuinely assholes and are thankful that the week seems to have flown by despite it all.
It's finally Friday and other than some lingering muck in your heads waiting for a ball of tissues, you and the boy seem to be much better. That would be great, but now the boy is over-the-top hyper and in full on "I want to aggravate my sisters" mode and they are on day miserable of the funk.
You spend most of the day sounding like a record on repeat, "Leave your sister alone, she does NOT feel good!" You try to curb the chaos with your first attempt at anything school-ish all week and pile the kids up for some Audible listens for two hours.
And because even a mom's hell week deserves a little positive tucked in, you discovered when you went to redeem your Audible credit for the month that they now have Harry Potter. All of this time holding out and refusing to pay $30 elsewhere paid off! If even for a short moment this week, you have felt glory!
It's now Saturday morning, 5 AM to be exact (because my brain is an asshole too and thought it would be awesome to run a million miles a minute at 4 AM on a Saturday) and I have no clue what the day has in store for me, only that the internet is working, for now.
I do know that my version of Hell Week isn't over just yet though. I've still got to get the girls feeling better and if my life were a movie, there has been a continuous loop of suspenseful music playing as I wait for the hubs to get sick too!
I'll be spending the weekend working my way through my giant to-do list, catching up on the laundry and cleaning up our germy house in hopes that the funk has left for good before I gorge myself on some tasty goodness in five days.
I hope your week played out more like a fairy tale than mine, and hopefully I can report back next week with a germ-free, turkey filled fun.
Shameless Plug - the only bright side to my whole week came courtesy of Audible. You could feel that same joy if you click on my awesome little affiliate banner here and get your two free audiobooks.