But I’m not sure I know what to do with 2018
Early Morning Musings from a Perpetual Mombie
Don’t tell my kids, but I’m not really feeling the Christmas spirit this year. It could be the Parvovirus B19* and random other funks that have been circling through the house for the past month. Maybe it’s the fact that I spent a good chunk of the year worrying about a sick kid. Or maybe it’s the lack of family to share the holiday with again. I’m sure it’s a combination of it all, coupled with overall shitty nature of transpired outside of my family this year. I’m feeling like the Grinch while trying to pull off a Cindy Lou Who for my kids.
I can’t go back and change 2017, and I’m not sure I would want to. At least not in a selfish perspective. There are plenty of things in the world that could use a redo, but as for me, I just wish I could do a bit of a reverse of events. If you asked me what happened between January and May, I couldn’t tell you much of anything other than soccer for the kids.
Those months just seemed to have zoomed by in a blur. But from that point on, it all seemed like an agonizing snail’s pace. Wait for this doctor appointment, then that one. Waiting for an offer acceptance, and then for the loan officer to finally give the clear to close. There has been a lot of waiting this second half of the year, with a not so fair balance of reward. I want to slow down those first months in soak in the goodness and put this last half on 4x until we are settled cozily in our new home and everyone is finally feeling well.
As low as the lows have been, I’ve made my peace with 2017 and I’m ready to move on to 2018, but I have no clue where it is going. Well, I can always count on tax time for some rousing fun, and I’m sure I’ll want to forget the first few months of the coming year if Trump continues on his train wreck of American greatness.
2018 is already a year full of things I need to do…
Get braces on the big kids
Put up walls in the basement so the boy can have a real room.
Rally back from the shitty 2017 half of our school year.
Replace the heat pump that shit out three weeks into home ownership (we knew it was coming, but really…a week before Christmas?)
More doctors appointments…
I could go on, but that’s life. We have responsibilities and things we need to get done. But there are also things I want to do with the new year.
I want to draw and paint.
I want to teach my youngest ballet.
I want to fix the old beat up, out of tune piano that came along with the house.
I want to go breathe in the mountain air just because.
I want to grow asparagus.
I want to sing and dance without my kids staring at me like I’m freaking Pee Wee Herman.
There are so many things that I want to do; things that call for living in the moment, taking it all in and just enjoying life. I don’t know which will fit in with all the needs or what I really want or expect out of 2018, but I’m sure I will figure it out along the way. I hoping that bidding an early farewell to the year will help me feel even the slight bit jolly.
So peace out 2017, it’s been real meh!
*Yeah, this a thing, otherwise known as Fifth’s Disease. It’s also a thing, that even though one child has racked up over 20k in doctors bills this year, we haven’t quite been bled dry enough yet to get out of our 30% copay for the rest of us yet.
This story was originally published on That Odd Mom on Medium Dec. 23, 2017